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ext_6783 (
mikkeneko.livejournal.com
) wrote
in
okami_hu
2005-02-15 08:04 pm (UTC)
no subject
There were a couple of places in the dialogue lacking punctuation before the end of the quote, you might want to check that.
And it's a good fic... but it weirds me out to hear Ed saying "Oh, great heavens" while getting head. From ANYONE. Moreso from Roy. :)
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no subject
And it's a good fic... but it weirds me out to hear Ed saying "Oh, great heavens" while getting head. From ANYONE. Moreso from Roy. :)