ext_6783 ([identity profile] mikkeneko.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] okami_hu 2005-02-15 08:04 pm (UTC)

There were a couple of places in the dialogue lacking punctuation before the end of the quote, you might want to check that.

And it's a good fic... but it weirds me out to hear Ed saying "Oh, great heavens" while getting head. From ANYONE. Moreso from Roy. :)

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